The weather has finally turned to fall. The mornings have been cool which is great for walking! I'm trying to get back into reviewing memlok verses while I walk, and this morning Esther 4:14 made me think about the passage in a different way.
Esther 4:12 When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."
Esther had previously told Morecai that she could not go before the king because she would probably be killed if she went without an invitation. Mordecai's response to her is interesting. He says "And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
That doesn't sound like a very certain or faith filled response. God didn't appear to Mordecai and tell him that Esther should go before the king and would be safe. Or, if God did tell Mordecai, he seems to not have been sure of the outcome. Esther made her decision to do as Mordecai asked. However she too had doubts and said "If I perish, I perish." She made her decision and also prayed and had others pray for her safety.
It's interesting to see how God used their decisions as steps of faith (however shakey) to save the Jewish people. We know how that story turned out. God protected Esther and used her risk in a good way.
We don't know how our small uncertain steps will turn out. I know I often make a decision without being certain it's something that "God wills." There are so many examples of God appearing to individuals in the Bible and telling them exactly what they are to do. Sometimes I get discouraged since that is not how I've found God to direct me. This example of Esther is an encouragement that God can use and does direct us even when we're not sure.